Women in India

24-09-2013

We’ve been talking a lot about women’s status in society, and while I thought I knew about many of the issues present in India today, it’s completely different to read about them in my cozy dorm room in upstate New York and to walk amongst them and feel the societal expectations all around me. Something that has struck me is the discussion about child marriage. Southeast Asia has a huge number of child marriages each year, and apparently India accounts for 40% of that number. Even though individuals are not legally allowed to marry until age 18 for females and age 21 for males, the sad fact is that this law has not done much to protect young girls and women. The government cannot intervene unless the marriage is legally arranged, and this law has only caused child marriages to occur more secretively. Child brides are at high risk of being exposed to domestic violence, in-law torture or starvation, death from pregnancy or childbirth complications, STDs, and (not surprisingly, after this list) severe depression. We have been talking about reasons for child marriage, and while some of the explanations make some sense to me, I still feel that there is something missing. We have been told that child marriage began in India when the Moguls began to invade, as a way to protect them. If they were given to another family, they would have a man and another set of parents to keep them safe. It was also explained as a “solution” to rape, by which I assume they mean rape from invaders. Economically, child marriage allows poorer families to have one less mouth to feed and to pay a lower dowry rate.

We have also been told in our Women’s Studies class that women in Ancient India were free and equal to men, though the evidence that we have been shown has seemed unreliable and questionable. It seems to be a widely accepted idea, along with the notion that women’s rights began to be restricted out of concern for their safety from invaders.

What upsets me about these dialogues is not necessarily the topic, because I had steeled myself for difficult discussions. What makes me angry is the way they are presented. I haven’t heard any accounts of child marriage from a woman who actually was a child bride, and there doesn’t seem to be any solid evidence about the speculation about ancient Indian women’s rights. It seems to me that these issues are presented with a certain degree of detachment. I want to know the why behind these questions. Why does child marriage really exist and continue? How can we actually stop it? And why, if women were equal to men, would they allow their rights to be taken away from them? If there were important priestesses and queens and speakers that were highly educated, how were they duped into giving up all their agency? I don’t know solutions to these questions, otherwise there would be an answer key at the bottom of the page. But I want someone to acknowledge that these are legitimate questions and learn about the debates that surround the multitude of issues surrounding women in India (and the world).

Recently, with the public eye on the violent rapes occurring in India, I have learned a bit more about the cultural stigma of rape here. If a girl tells her family that she has been raped or sexually assaulted, she becomes damaged goods, and can no longer be married. If her family supports her in her search for the rapist, there is a slim chance that he will be found or arrested. And if he does happen to come into police custody and is convicted of rape, he and his victim must marry. The recent case in Delhi is unusual, and may have to do with national attention and pressure, and perhaps these men are being used as an example. While I would like to think that no one wants to promote rape, this is what we Americans call “rape culture” at its peak. Of course, my judgments and observations are based on my American upbringing, and my ridiculous feminist assertion that society ought to be egalitarian, with men and women on equal standing. I realize that as an outsider looking in, I may not have the experience or right to judge. But I think that listening different angle of view can also be a good wake-up call. If only someone would listen.